Inferior

and so i realize that there is now way back now
but studying in a place where everyone is plain genius
is really the most stressful place to be in.

its like although i somehow have an inkling that i will not do too badly.

but i do know that i will never excel in this environment...

not unless i do something about it...

not unless i do something now...

but now...

my hearts saying lets go...

but my body says no...

its almost like in secondary sch...

or when in jc...

where i have to fall hard before i can wake up

but i know this time nobody will pick me up...

no teacher will reach out with a helping hand

no teacher will go the extra mile

i have no mentor.

i only have my friends who are really too busy helping themselves

you know... times like this i really feel like going to AMK library again

i wonder if everyone feels the same

i want to be there at 945am...

to see the library door open...

i want to be there to eat the satay beehoon

i want the past...

i want the past to juxtapose into my future

its like i am on IPPT doing my standing broad jump

only that i never land.

i just keep going

not knowing whether i land more than 243cm

not know if i will get gold

not knowing if i will reach my goal

one times EMO post to kick start my blog once again.