What Kind Of a Girlfriend Are You?

being a guy without a girlfriend is hard! i literally live in a world where humans come in pairs, every corner you see a couple...my friend will most probably be the boy/girl-friend of my OTHER friend...(sigh...)

(during c maths lecture) "where is my conjugate?"
(during physics lecture) "stupid body mass...attract someone...ATTRACT!!!! Where is newton's law of gravitation when i need it?"
(during chemistry lecture) "i am so lonely...give me phenolpthalein...i wanna die!"

Then again...when i look deeper at the way these BGR work...
it makes me wonder again..."what was i thinking?"
categorising the girlfriends i see...these are the types

1.Dog Walker...(not bitch...DOG)
Everyday the dog walker walks the dog,tells it to eat,tells it what to do...what not to,tries to teach the dog new tricks while it is still young..well you cant teach an old dog new tricks can you...dumb dog...i'm gonna ignore you...stupid dog...awww..but you are so adorable...how can i even think of abusing you? oh wait a minute...i am boss...what can you do? dumb dog...
2.Tomboy...(BRRUUTHER....)
Everyday the tomboy puts a toothpick in her mouth and spits. she lies in the couch beside her partner and goes GOAL!!!! when Liverpool scores goal. sometimes causes the partner to doubt his own sexual orientation...but the tomboy is able to surprise her boyfriend with sudden bursts of oestrogen...showing the feminine side of her. sometimes the partner dies of heart attack...unable to take the shock
3.Cutesy...(SO MEAN....)
Everyday she carries a pink tote bag to school shys to her boyfriend on stepping into the school. every comment that has the slightest hint of sarcasm or personal attack with be replied with a "so mean..." followed by an attempt to hit or warn the contributor.With an aura of pure heart the extremely naive girl melts anyone's hearts.
4.Sweet...(i baked cookie for you...)
Every week, she will attempt to make some cookies for those that she love (not only boyfriend). somehow or other there will be an occasion to celebrate with the boyfriend...always accompaied by a sweet kiss to the cheek.
5.Oral...(yup...pasir ris Oral...)
give it to me...lets go hiao!

GAWD...